Monthly Archives: May 2011

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The Adjustment Bureau


What a weekend! This has been one of the most fun Memorial day weekends that I have had in years. Many thanks to Rachel, who I had many adventures with. Friday: open mic night, Saturday: church, concert and a movie, Sunday: Universal Studios and a dollar theater movie. It would not have nearly been as much fun without her. đŸ™‚

So Sunday night we went to the dollar theater and saw The Adjustment Bureau. For those of you who have yet to see it, I highly recommend it. It has been a long time since I have seen a movie that has made me think.

The whole pretense of the movie ultimately comes down to free will vs God’s will and His plan for your life. In the movie there is a group designated to keeping the people on the “plan” orchestrated by the “chairman”. The whole concept I find fascinating. The reality that in every day life we choose one thing over another. With every decision you make, you are saying yes to something and no to something else.

As a christian, I desire to serve God and follow his plan for my life above all else. What was interesting about this movie is how “The Adjustment Bureau” steps in to reroute ones steps in order to fulfill the “chairman’s” plan.  Interesting concept when taken into a theological standpoint. How much of my life is my decision, vs God’s ultimate design and plan. As Rachel and I were leaving the movie we started talking about all the things that we at one time or place wanted SO badly, and how the fact that we didn’t get our way ended up being the best thing for us. How our “plan” would have been altered if we did get our way, and how different our lives would look.

Both of us could have been married by now, we both knew in these relationships, that though we wanted them with all our hearts, it just wasn’t right. Yet we fought to keep them for far to long. Had I got my way and married  Ryley, had I fought and won, I would not be moving to Sydney, I would not be following my dreams with music, and I would not have the friends that I have now, these friends who make my life better. At the moment, I was so upset that I didn’t get my way. I cried for months. I ended it, knowing that it wasn’t right, yet wanting it so bad to be. I look back now with a thankful heart, because He knows what He is doing. God’s plan is always greater than my own. And as we seek him, our plans become one as our desire aligns with His will. I know that this was just a movie, but sometimes God even uses Hollywood to grab your attention and make you think.

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Kara And The 100th!


Welcome to my 100th post! Not only is this my 100th post, but it is also the day that I move out of my current apartment. I have sold ALL of my furniture…every last piece will be gone by today at 3pm. Everything else I own is either in storage or moved into my temporary room for the next three months. I know I keep saying this, but none of this feels real. I am finally starting to get excited about my move. Like really excited. Its thrilling to not know what the future hold. I haven’t done a big move like this since I left Oregon to move down to California for college. That was 9 years ago. It’s been fun to tell my story to people, because it reminds me of how much God’s hand has been at work in the last few months of my life. He is always working, but I feel like He has given me a little extra encouragement and reassurance. I am so thankful for all that I have been taught in this season of learning to trust and walk by faith.

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The Price of Secrets


I am a horrible secret keeper, when it comes to secrets about myself. I can keep other peoples, but when it comes to ones about myself, I have a hard time keeping a straight face. Case in point. My clients have no idea that I am moving in 4 months to another country. Honestly, most of my close friends know and that is it. The rest of the world is still in the dark, except for blog world and ironically I don’t give my blog link to most of my friends. Tonight I had a lesson with one of my clients who I have taught for over four years. I love my clients, not only do I teach their children, but I also get invited to birthday parties, and other events, which I attend. I know how they met their spouses, I know about their lives…and I LOVE that part of my job. They are my clients, but often they feel like friends as well. I see them every week, and I have for years. I feel like a terrible person, because I have not told them that I am leaving. And I really don’t want to. I don’t want to have to deal with their disappointment and sadness, because it will make me cry, and I am not yet ready for that. Leaving is hard  enough, saying goodbye is even worse. I have not bought my ticket yet, but once that has been finalized, I can’t keep it from them anymore. I am going to have to tell them…ugh! This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I hope they understand, but I have to stop living for everyone else, and live for my audience of one.

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3 Days and Counting


I have three days left in my current apartment. All my furniture has sold except for my one lone coffee table. The storage unit is filled with my odds and ends that can’t be moved, such as books and movies. My apartment is sad, it has been stripped down to its bare bones. I moved in here February of 2010, expecting to stay here for awhile. Once, I broke up with my boyfriend and my roommate started dating hers, I figured I would just get another friend to move in here with me once my roommate got married. I had no idea that I would be selling every piece of furniture I own and moving my life halfway across the world. My tax return came in yesterday, so now I officially have no reason to not buy my ticket. It still doesn’t feel real, even though all of my earthly possessions are sold and the count down has officially begun. I guess reality will hit me when I finally tell my clients that I am leaving and make it “facebook official”. Cause lets be honest, till its posted on facebook…its not real ;).

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Habits of Healthy Eating


I have always been a healthy horrible eater. Today was a fine example of that. I had a peanut butter twix for breakfast, a protein bar for lunch, a Carmel chocolate bar and peanuts for a snack…and dinner, well it was a big mac and six piece chicken nugget. It is by the grace of God that I am not 300 lbs. Maybe its time to start eating better…well on second thought…nah!

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And Then There Was One


And then there was one…one lone piece of furniture, one last piece that connects my life to here. I’ve sold all of my furniture, except my coffee table. That is all that remains. I’ve moved the rest of my meager belongings into a storage unit which is not even half full. It is liberating and devastating to sell your life. There is a freedom in not having “stuff” attached to you, and at the same time it is tragic to not have roots. I always assumed that by now I would be married, but I’m not, and I refuse to let life pass me by why I wait on the sidelines. So, no roots have been planted and now that I don’t have “things” to tie me down, I move. None of this feels real, it’s as though I am living someone else’s life. Someone with much more courage than I have. I think I have chosen to ignore the fact that everything is about to change in a very big way, real soon. I still have to buy my ticket, and then it will all be complete. Who would have believed that the little girl who couldn’t spend the night away from home would move half way across the world. I still can’t believe that I am really doing this. I just have to tell myself to keep breathing…ok Kara…just breath.

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The Reality of Change


Furniture is sold, visa is in hand, I’m moving out of my place in one week, and last night I said goodbye to Kylie and her new husband Adam. While everyone else was sad because this goodbye will be for awhile, I said…see in you September. This is real and Gods hand has been so evidently at work that I cannot deny his call upon me to leave and go. The only thing I know for sure is where, I don’t know the what’s or how’s of how all of this is going to work out. Learning to trust and lean into the unknown is scary, and I don’t do a very good job at it. I look forward to the day when I can look back upon this journey and understand why I was called to go and leave everything that I know. Seeing Kylie and Adam, put me at ease as we briefly discussed all the fun things we will do together in Sydney, for it will be new to them as well. He is from Adelaide and well, she’s an American girl. If you read this, pray for me, cause the reality of just how much life is about to change is starting to hit me. I’m about to step through the looking glass into my own version of Wonderland…I’ve got four months…let the journey commence!