eHarmony, An Experiment


I have a friend who recently signed up for eHarmony. She fought for awhile, but finally decided that if she really wants to be dating, she better be proactive and take a step. It’s funny how this whole online dating thing is becoming the norm. Over half of my friends have met their spouses online. We live in a generation where people don’t know how to date, and when you never meet new people, that doesn’t help either. So Rachel decided to take the personality profile with no thoughts of actually signing up for the service. After she finished the test they started sending her matches, quite a few actually, and many of them requested communication. The trick of eHarmony, is that you can see their profiles without paying, but not their pictures. This will drive you just crazy enough that you suck it up and pay in order to make sure you are not missing out on anything good. In comes my experiment.

When Rachel told me that she really wanted to see all these men who had requested communication and had decided to sign up for their three month special, I got really excited! Yay for social experiments! She had ten men who had requested communication with her. Before she paid I sat down with her and had her read all ten of their profiles and comment on who caught her attention and who did not, based solely on their info. It felt like Christmas morning, here she had ten shiny packages under the tree, but the question is…is it jewelry, or sock and underwear? Viewing their profiles before looking at their pictures was like shaking the presents to see if you can figure out which ones you think will be the best.

Out of the ten, three were immediately ruled out based on their horrid profiles. One guy was 5’2 – too short! Another wrote like a complete ass and bored both of us before we even got through his first paragraph. And lastly, another looked to be unemployed and lazy…NO THANK YOU! Those three were put into socks and underwear present pile. five were deemed possibilities, nothing stood out, but nothing made her uneasy either these seemed like they might be good presents. Two however, really stood out. They were the presents on Christmas morning that you wanted to open first, the ones who looked like they might be just what you asked for.

Now came the exciting part, paying…this means she finally gets to open her presents and see how many pairs of socks and underwear she got vs. the new ipad, or pretty jewelry. So the three that she labeled socks and underwear…she was right on. Weird, weird guys! Their profiles matched their rather interesting pictures. Of the five who may or may not have been underwear two were ok, the other three…yay…they broke all the profile rules when it comes to pictures. Pictures with girls, with babies, with your shirt off…epic fail! The other two she decided to give a chance, honestly, she wasn’t really attracted to them, but decided to give it a try anyway. The ones she was really excited about it….well…it is eHarmony. One of them looked like he was in his 50s and the other, not really her type either, but she is giving him a chance because he impressed her so much.

Here is the problem with online dating. We as people want to be with someone we are attracted to both physically and mentally. Unfortunately, being able to judge someone based on a picture is hard. We are bombarded everyday with images of perfect people and when the men or women on these sites don’t fit that, are tendency is to “close” them because they are not what we are looking for. It’s pretty much shopping for a mate. Yes, you do the same thing in real life, we judge the package, but at the same time you get to know whats inside and sometimes that changes the way the packages appears. Online dating sites let you judge the package before ever getting to know whats inside. I’m interested to see what happens in her new adventure. My prediction, it’s not going to be the pretty guy she is looking for who is going to grab her attention. It’s going to be the boy next door, who she wants to close, but will give him a chance, because she has me looking over her shoulder ;). At first glance he is not going to be what she thought she wanted, but he will turn out to be all that and more. Can’t wait to see how this story ends!

The Things You Hear at Wedding


I have been working a lot of weddings lately. I somehow fell into this side business without looking for it. Most of the weddings that I work are very high end, beautiful affairs. On most weddings I am the lead to the planner. Its fun, but the best part is getting to observe the guests. I am fascinated by human behavior and interaction. Because I am there to make sure that everything goes smoothly, you learn how to be pretty much invisible. When you are working a wedding, the guests really don’t notice you. Especially when most of the guests come from pretty elaborate backgrounds. This last weekends wedding was no different. What struck me the most was the conversations that were being had.

For the bride it was her first wedding, at 40. The groom had been married before and had children. What I find so interesting as a single girl is the amount of cynicism towards marriage at almost every wedding I work. What is even more interesting, is that it is not coming from the  single people. The cynicism is most commonly from the married ones. One woman there was just going through a divorce and I overheard her telling another that it’s better to just be single, marriage isn’t worth it. Later in the evening, I was working and happened to hear a table discussing how hard marriage is. One of the people at the table had been married for 25 years. She said, marriage is work, no one tells you that before your married. Another man at the same table was talking about the end of his marriage. How he had no idea that work would be required to maintain a successful marriage.

I have spent most of my life being what you would call a “late bloomer”. I was the last to go through puberty, the last to hit her growth spurt, and now I am the last among my friends to get married and have kids. I’ve always hated being last, but now, its is turning out to be a good thing. I know marriage is hard work. I’ve watched as marriages have succeeded and failed. The success come from hard work and good communications, from continual pursuit of your spouse. The failures, well…it takes two to fail and being selfish will always end your marriage. People are innately selfish, it’s hard work to deny yourself and put someone else’s feelings before your own.

After working many weddings this summer, sometimes I’m not sure if I want to get married. I want a family, but not if it is going to fail. I refuse to be a statistic, and if I finally do get married, I hope being a late bloomer pays off and I’ll remember that to be  a success, you have to work.

Music Mondays: Joseph Arthur


In The Sun – Joseph Arthur

I pictured you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

May God’s love be with you
Always….
May God’s love be with you

I know i would apologize if i could see your eyes
‘Cause when you showed me myself, you know, i became someone else
But i was caught in between all you wish for and all you need
I pictured you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You can’t keep awake

May God’s love be with you
Always…
May God’s love be with you
Always…
May God’s love be with you
Always…
May God’s love be with you

‘Cause if i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
If i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
If i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
You…
You…
I’ll find you
You…

I don’t know anymore
What it’s for
I’m not even sure
If there is anyone who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
‘Cause i been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe you’re not even sure what it’s for
Any more than me

May God’s love be with you
Always…
May God’s love be with you
Always…
May God’s love be with you
Always…
May God’s love be with you

‘Cause if i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
If i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
If i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
If i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
You…
You…
I’ll find you
You…
I’ll find you
You…
I’ll find you
You…

Facebook Official


Seriously, does anyone even remember life before Facebook?!? Its funny how in order for things to be real, in our real life, we must first make it real in our virtual life. I’ve heard more than once that its not official tell its Facebook  official. This concept applies both to big news and to relationships. Oh the impact that Facebook has had on our society. So, I made the official Facebook announcement and let all my “friends” know that I am moving to Australia. There is no more denying it now…this is really happening and to be honest, I am scared. I’m having SO much fun with all my friends this summer that I don’t really want it to end. I bet I’ll say the same thing this time next year as I am wrapping up my year in Australia. I still feel like I am living someone else’s life.

Music Mondays: The Band Perry


Its a Country Summer! Check out The Band Perry

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She’ll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain’t always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain’t even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had, just enough time

And I’ll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I’m as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I’ve
Never known the lovin’ of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there’s a
Boy here in town who says he’ll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I’ve had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I’ll sell them for a dollar
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you’re dead how people start listenin’

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep ’em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you’re really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls

My Failure in Flirting


So last Friday night my friend Emma and I decided that we suck at flirting and meeting single available men. So we devised a plan of attack. Let’s make ourselves go to establishments with single men. So here is a little bit of back story on myself. I don’t know how to flirt. If I see a cute guy, I make sure that I don’t look at him, make eye contact, or smile. I become stone cold. I don’t know how this even started, but it did and now I am stuck in this horrible phase of being an ice princess. I know that I need to break this trend. I must! Especially before I move to Australia! So it has been my goal this past week to learn to flirt, to smile at cute men. To not be such a pansy. Well….I failed…and I failed miserably! Emma and I walk into this upscale bar with a live band on last Friday night. There are cute guys everywhere…and I immediately revert to don’t look mode. Emma is slightly better, she actually looked around the room, while I kept my eyes straight ahead. Apparently some the attractive men actually looked my way, but I refused to make eye contact…I once again froze! And I wonder why I haven’t been on a date since December. I think I better add this to my list of things I need to get done before I move…Learn to flirt, or at least make eye contact. 😉