So I have a little over 4 months to figure out whether or not I am staying in the US. 4 months is not very much time, but that is my deadline. My best friend Marie, sent me this picture the other night while we were skyping. I love it! I love the thought of being immersed in another culture, in another world, surrounded by things that I have never seen, smells I have never smelt and textures I have never touched. I love the idea of really starting over, like sell my whole life, starting over. Then there is another side of me that loves the comfort of friends who know me, sights that bring joy, and sounds that are so familiar I know what tone comes next. I am torn, for if I leave, I’ll miss a whole year away from the people that I love, but if I stay…if I stay…I might miss out on one of the best adventures I could ever experience.
When I graduated from college I had the opportunity to travel with Marie to the Philippines for a month. All I had to pay for was my airplane ticket. I didn’t do it. I didn’t want to dip into my savings account to have to pay for it. I didn’t want to have to spend another 6 months in Oregon, so that I could afford to move back down to CA. I don’t regret much, but I regret that. I have lived such a safe life. Taking little risks here and there, but never really diving in. I’m a good wader. I like to dip my toe in and then wade in little by little just to make sure that the water is warm enough. At 28, I have learned that it is time to stop wading, and start learning to dive. The high board looks a lot higher from the ground than it does when you are standing on it. I’m not really sure what is going to happen in the next 4 months, but the one thing I do know is that change is a coming. I need to dive into life and quit watching everyone else have their turn on the high board. 2011…has been a bitch of a year. It’s time to change that. I’m putting this on my blog so that I have proof of what I am committing to. To be held accountable by you, my wonderful readers. So here goes…
1) Actively pursue music, no more sitting on the side lines teaching. I have enough free time in my schedule to really ramp things up. Find a job that I love! And in order to that, I need to find out what it is that I love to do. Narrow it down.
2) Get out there and date. There is no need to be a wall-flower, people will not bite. And if they do, I will survive. I already have.
3) Dive into a new church. Embrace it with open arms and don’t wait for people to ask. Just do.
When I was younger, I never took no for an answer. I just went for it until I got what I wanted. I was fearless. I got older and with that came fear. It’s time to shed that layer and go back to being bold and courageous. So here goes, I am going to give this next 4 months my best shot and if it goes up in flames, then I know its time to move onto a new adventure. Truth is, they both sound good to me. It’s time to start diving!