This blog has been severely neglected. So neglected in fact that the name of this blog is no longer acceptable. With that said and considering that no one even reads this anymore, I am sending it to blog heaven and one final thought.
I should be studying right now, working on a thesis to be exact. This blog for the time it was active was a therapeutic way to vent my feelings, frustrations, hopes and dreams in a way that was real and authentic. I’ll miss writing in this blog with no filter, but life is busy and honestly, I’d rather be busy living than bored writing. Life looks very VERY different from when I started this blog. I am no longer the same person and neither are those around me. With that I bid farewell to Tales of a Twenty-Something and hello to Thirty Flirty and Thriving 😉
Well I did it, I said goodbye to my first Student. I have taught him for 4 years. I love that little guy. He started with me at age 6 and is now 10. He had his last lesson yesterday and it was SO sad! I was good and did not cry, but he just kept saying, this is so sad. It is going to be weird to not see him again for over a year. I don’t think it feels real to either one of us. I’m pretty sure I am living in denial. I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around not being able to see my friends, family, and clients for over a year. To not be in the same room with them, to not be able to hug them or just sit next to them and hear about life, it just doesn’t seem real. I know a year will go by fast, but I think I am starting to mourn my life here. Its funny, many people have told me that its just growing pains. And they are right. Whenever we experience growth, it hurts. Growing is never a painless process, the end results are always better, but it hurts along the way. I just have to keep telling myself that, its just growing pains. I’ve done this before, I can do it again, and it will hurt, but it will be worth it in the end.
I leave in less than 100 days…I have a little over two months left of work before my whole world changes. It is starting to feel real. Today I told my first client that I am not returning in the fall. I was planning on letting everyone know at the beginning of July, but since they are taking the summer off I had to move up my timeline up for this one family. The parents took it well and are really excited for me. My kid however, has decided not to believe me and told me that he would see me in the fall. The look on his face was so sad! 😦 He is one of my favorites, I know you are not supposed to have favorites as a teacher, but I totally do. Ugh, my little heart just broke a bit when I told him. And this is just the beginning. I have always hated goodbyes. And so begins the next chapter, the chapter of learning to say goodbye.
I am a horrible secret keeper, when it comes to secrets about myself. I can keep other peoples, but when it comes to ones about myself, I have a hard time keeping a straight face. Case in point. My clients have no idea that I am moving in 4 months to another country. Honestly, most of my close friends know and that is it. The rest of the world is still in the dark, except for blog world and ironically I don’t give my blog link to most of my friends. Tonight I had a lesson with one of my clients who I have taught for over four years. I love my clients, not only do I teach their children, but I also get invited to birthday parties, and other events, which I attend. I know how they met their spouses, I know about their lives…and I LOVE that part of my job. They are my clients, but often they feel like friends as well. I see them every week, and I have for years. I feel like a terrible person, because I have not told them that I am leaving. And I really don’t want to. I don’t want to have to deal with their disappointment and sadness, because it will make me cry, and I am not yet ready for that. Leaving is hard enough, saying goodbye is even worse. I have not bought my ticket yet, but once that has been finalized, I can’t keep it from them anymore. I am going to have to tell them…ugh! This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I hope they understand, but I have to stop living for everyone else, and live for my audience of one.