Kara and the Quarter Life Crisis

This time a year ago, I was starting to plan my wedding. No ring had been purchased, because I was a little gun shy about the whole thing. Something wasn’t right, looking back I know what was preventing me from moving forward. At the time though, I was just frustrated with myself for not being more excited about a place that I so wanted be, with a man that I deeply loved. Flash forward a year later and I am thankful that we never got married. Do I still love the guy, yes, but had we gotten married, we would probably have been either in a miserable marriage or getting divorced( which I don’t believe in). Hindsight is always 20/20.

6 months ago I was in a good place. Great friends, great job, life was fun. Now, I kind of wonder what the hell happened, and how things changed on me so quickly. I was finally comfortable and happy, really loving life, looking forward to the next big adventure. Now all I want is a change. Maybe a big change, like a life altering change. I am antsy and restless and really really BORED. Oh and it get’s better, I feel alone in this. The people around me are in great places, with exciting new things happening to them. Me, I am in a rut and can’t wait to break free. So what shall my next move be? A new job? A new place? A whole new life? How dramatic of a change do I want to make? And will making some life altering change really satisfy this gnawing feeling in bottom of my stomach that something’s just not right. I want a new life. It’s time to stop wishing that things would change and instead its time to take action. So starting today, I am going to take steps to change this rut I am in. Watch out world…cause here I go…


Kara and the Girls Night In

Sometimes being in your late 20s and single feels like the worse thing in the whole world. You see, I am the last one left of my friends from college to not be married. My closest friends from my undergraduate years are all married and have recently all had babies. Me, well, I’m not even close. There are times when I am envious of the fact that they have someone to experience life with, but then there are other times that I’m so thankful I can come and go a I please and don’t have a husband or child to take care of. Tonight was a thankful night. A rarely seen moment these days, a girls night!

Due to the fact that most of my friends have recently gotten themselves knocked up, and consequently now have a child to take care of, I have had to venture out and make new friends. Making friends in your late 20s in not like making friends when you were in school. For starters, I work for myself so I don’t have coworkers to hang out with. Secondly, it’s not as easy to find people you just click with like it was in college, there is a much bigger pond for you to choose from there. The past 10 months have been my venture into the realm of “new friends”. I went to school with the same kids K-12. Needless to say, not to hard to make friends who you just get when you have known them pretty much your whole life. Then it’s off to college where you make new friends who most likely are in the same major as you. This is excellent because you already have something in common, and not just that, but you are discovering who you are at the same time as everyone else. Basically you grow up and become adults together, forming similar ideals and structures for what you want your life to look like. Now onto post college…it’s not so easy anymore to find that click.

I’ve met a lot of nice people. Great people, with great hearts, but I don’t really feel like I fit in with most of them. I miss the days when I felt understood, where everything just clicks and it is like you have known each other your whole life. Tonight, I got to hang out with a group of girls that I am really just getting to know and its nice, cause I feel like I fit in. And tonight was one of those nights where I am glad that I am unattached, cause I got to spend a great evening with 3 wonderful women which involved Mango Margaritas, Mexican food, 17 again, and hookah. After last nights quasi disaster, it’s nice to feel like I belong. Until Next Time…

Amos Lee…or…The Bucket List

Amos Lee…in concert…House of Blues. That was what the invite was for. I for one LOVE Amos Lee so regardless of which of my friends was going I was going to be there. Funny thing about me is that once in a blue moon, particularly when I am going through a rough time, I will isolate from all my friends. Probably not the best decision to make, but I really don’t want to be Debbie Downer who brings them into my mess, so instead I stay away until things are more manageable. I haven’t seen “the group” for almost a month, and tonight I decided to come out of hiding and see everyone. I miss them and despite the shit that is going on in my life, I figured I could fake it for one night and go out and have fun.

We were all supposed to meet for dinner at 6:30 tonight. I bailed last minute due to a lovely little thing, called a migraine. I only get migraines when I am stressed out, I have had two in the past week. Today being a pretty bad one. So, I plan on meeting everyone at House of Blues to hear the wonderfully talented Amos Lee and hang out with my friends. I get there 15 minutes before showtime. Guess what…no one is there. Not a single one of my friends is there yet and the place is packed. I grab a spot, a GREAT spot and then wait for them to arrive. They all show up 45 minutes later and tell me where they are standing. During that 45 minute interval, the place packs out even more and I cannot move. It is wall to wall people and I feel a little bit like cattle. Not wanting to brave the masses, I tell them where I am at and they tell me to come to them. First off, I got there first and have a great spot for us all. Second, I can’t move even if I wanted to without pretty much injuring myself to get through the throngs of people. Needless to say I am kind of pissed. Yet at the same time I had great time.

You see…going to a concert all by myself is on my “bucket list”. My list is not written down, but more or less documented points in my head of things I should try at least once. I am highly extroverted, on the Myers Briggs personality test, I tested in the upper 90th percentile on the extroversion scale. I HATE HATE HATE doing things by myself. Tonight I was forced to. I literally could not move, and didn’t see my friends the whole night. At first I felt like a total loser as I was surrounded by couples and there I am without a friend in sight. However, as the night went on, I become more comfortable and realized that I probably would have never been able to cross this off my list had I not been forced into this situation. So for that I am thankful. I also learned something new about myself. The world will not come to an end if I have to do something by myself. I will be just fine and the world will keep on spinning. Doesn’t mean that I like it anymore, but next time there is a show that I want to see and I can’t find anyone to go with me, I’m gonna go anyway. I’m a single girl living in a single world and who knows maybe someday I will miss the days that I could go somewhere with just me. Until next time…

Kara and the Car Shopping Debacle

Single girl + Car Shopping = NIGHTMARE!

My car her whole life has been nothing but trouble. Yes she is beautiful and can haul ass, but she is high maintenance. So high maintenance in fact that it is time to let someone else give her a try and for me to move onto something new. I have known for quite some time that she was a little too much for me to handle with her constant visits to the shop and long list of repairs that have consequently played a number on my pocketbook, yet I kept her. Why do ask, cause on the outside she seems to be everything I could ever want in a car. She is beautiful, fast, fun, and I constantly get compliments on her, yet she doesn’t really fit my life so well these days. Kind of like my ex. So it is with much sadness that I say goodbye to my first car and move onto…car shopping.

This is my first experience shopping for a car all by myself and needless to say it’s not fun. All I know is that I need an SUV to haul gear, but I also need to get good gas mileage since I love to drive and I rack up around 400+ miles a week just for work. Also, I want my new baby to drive well, cause let’s be honest I don’t know how to drive slow. My speeds are fast and faster! So far I have had one slightly annoying trip out to test drive my options.

First stop….Ford

I test drove the Ford Escape, its cute, has a V6 engine and gets good gas mileage. The car salesmen who helped me…couldnt understand a word he was saying. He was from Haiti has a son who is a senior in college who wants to be an audio engineer. He has been in the states for 10 years. I have this problem that when I meet new people I like to interrogate them, hence my personal knowledge of my ford friend. It took all my focus just to understand him through his thick accent.

I have no idea what I am doing, nor which questions to ask as I am not looking at getting a new car, but a “new to me” car. So needless to say I am no farther along in even knowing if I can afford this car than before I walked in. At least I know, it drives well.

2nd Stop…Toyata

I wanted to test drive the Rav4 since apparently Japanese cars are freakin awesome and not high maintenance. I walk onto the lot and of course the shortest, fattest, ugliest, oldest, man with bad hair approaches me, leaving his nest of cronies to see what I need help with. I tell him I am interested in the RAV4’s he tells me where to find them on the lot and that he will be over there in a sec. His first question…When are you looking to buy? My answer…a lie…sometime in the spring. I was NOT going to buy a car that day and did not want to deal with pushy salesmen so I used that line that a friend so wisely told me to use. Truth…I’m probably getting a “new” car in the next few weeks. What does this fine gentleman then do. HE WALKS AWAY FROM ME!! He says well, they are over there if you want to look. I told him that I would like to see the interior and he informs that one of them should be unlocked, just look around till you find one. Piss off car man! Congratulations…I would have bought from you in a few weeks. Instead I’m going to go to a different dealership and buy from someone who will actually take 15 minutes out of his obviously “busy” day to help me.

Car shopping so far has been a nightmare, I wonder if I would be treated better if I was a man. Oh well, I still have 3 more cars to test drive before I make a decision. If only finding an eligible bachelor were this easy…wait…it is just as painful! Until next time. đŸ™‚

Memory Lane

Confession…I have started many blogs in the past none of which have stuck. I started one in college that lasted all of a few months and then a few years later I started  another one that lasted for about two years. And now this one, which well, as we can all see has not really been thriving. Funny thing, I just read through all my old blogs and I realize how important it is to write down this time in my life cause it is never going to happen again. The good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful it is all part of the tapestry that makes up this life that I lead and I don’t really want to forget it, even the bad. Hopefully one day I can look back on all these posts and smile and realize just how far I have come.