About a year ago, a little over at this point, all of my friends started popping out kids. The second to last one turns one today. So I thought I would dedicate this blog post to all my fake nieces and nephews. 🙂 Oh how I LOVE my friends kids. Its fun to play auntie Kara, and now that all my little kiddo’s are finally past the blob stage it makes it all the more fun! I love watching them learn new things and it has been fun to see them start to recognize me and reach out for me when I come to see them. I love it! Round two of babies is about to commence shortly as they all are turning one, while round one for a few other friends has just begun. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but lately when I see pictures of these new little ones, it makes it want to cry. I would really like to put off this whole biological clock thing for at least another 5 years. I mean, I am only 28 and leaving the country in less than 3 months, the last thing I want right now is a boyfriend, let alone a husband and a kid. I love the fact that I am not tied down right now and honestly, I am just to selfish to even begin to think about caring for a child. And yet, I think my stupid clock is just getting started…dammit! So I apologize if I tear up while holding your new baby, I promise you I don’t want one, but despite it all, something is starting to change.
I am EXHAUSTED! It has been one crazy weekend. The wedding was beautiful and one of the best ones this season. The bride was beautiful and it only took 3 shots to get her stress level down. 😉 There really is nothing better than being with friends that you have known your whole life. So to the bride and groom congratulations! Your wedding was awesome.
As for me, I am TIRED! I have been traveling so much these past few months and on top of that I have moved. I can’t even remember the last time I just lounged around for a whole day. And honestly, I don’t think I will get to until September. There is just to much to do before I leave and time is already quickly flying by. As June is almost halfway over, I am anticipating telling my clients that I am leaving in just two short weeks, which means I can make the “official” Facebook announcement. My heart is being changed and I feel like I am a senior again, with just a few short months till graduation. So ready to be done and onto the next adventure, yet feeling nostalgic and not wanting any of this to end. To add to it, I feel as though my move is all encompassing these days. Its all I think about and it makes me feel selfish. Truth be told I don’t really like when a lot of attention is on me. It is OK when I am performing, but other than that I don’t really like it. I am always worried that I am boring the people around me, and that they don’t really want to know about my life. Stupid insecurities. So with all that said, the next few months are going to be crazy, busy, and fun. I going to miss sleep!
How do you get over betrayal, how do you get over the hurt of fake people? I am having a really hard time moving past these feelings. I never got closure, I was never even heard, instead I was dropped. I don’t understand how you can treat a friend like that and I never will. I wish I didn’t care. I wish I never heard her name, or what her life is like now. Getting screwed over is the worst feeling. I want to be over it…so how do I get there?
I am thankful for my friends. For the women in my life who get me and more than that, who support me even when I am being nuts. I could not have designed a better group of friends if I had too. Thank you for making me feel loved and appreciated. You all mean so much to me. I may not be married, or have a boyfriend, but I have amazing friends, and for that I am thankful. Not everyone gets friends like this. I hope I never forget this moment of gratitude for my friends are my sanity and such a joy in my life. Thank you God for my friends!
I just flew back home tonight. The wedding was beautiful, the bride was beautiful, and the location was beautiful. It was beautiful. I have to be honest though…I am done with weddings. I still have one more left. I love the community of weddings, meeting new people, and the happiness that follows the chaos of the week leading up to it. However going solo is getting old. Oh well, 3 down…one more to go!
And I’m off…once again…this time to Seattle. Not only do I get to watch the best roommate ever, Kylie, get married, I also get to see my family and my best friend Marie! I can’t wait for a fun filled/crazy busy weekend. So off to yet another wedding I go, this time as a bridesmaid. Maybe there will actually be some cute guys at this one…who am I kidding…probably not! 😉
Have you ever made a really huge decision, life altering, but kept living life as if nothing has changed? As if the act of oblivion will keep the coming even at bay? I feel as though I am living that right now. My visa has been approved, I have begun to sell a bunch of my furniture, we move in 15 days, and I am buying my one way ticket to Australia this weekend. I am excited for the adventure and for stepping out into the unknown, but another part of me wants to cry. I love my friends, I love my clients, I love my life here. When I really start to think about what I am about to do in just a few short months I am torn. Half of me can’t wait to go and wish I could just pack up and leave now. The other half of me starts to cry just thinking about it. The reality of what I am about to do, hit me this week and I teared up thinking about saying goodbye to those friends who mean more to me than they will ever know. Those who have been gifts from God, who have brought me sanity, I can’t even begin to imagine what my life will look like without them being just a short drive away. So until I go, I am choosing to embrace these last few months and enjoy every minute with them, and not think about the tears that are to come.