Reality is beginning to set in that I am actually going to be moving out of my apartment in just 30 days. This is making my international move more of a reality. I have started the visa application process and just today, I rented a storage unit to store my books and random odds and ends that I don’t want to sell quite yet. It is now crunch time. We are out of my apartment on May 21st which means I have 30 days to sell my life…ahhh!! Sometimes I feel like I am crazy for picking up my life and changing everything. Really, what am I thinking?!? I am comfortable here in California. I have great friends, a good job, and wonderful church. Why would I leave? I had a panic moment when I was home in Oregon this weekend. And the thought of its not to late to change my mind popped into my head. I could still try to find a new roommate and just keep living my life here. Nothing would have to change. Truth be told, things could still change to keep me here, I wouldn’t have any furniture, or a place to live, but that can all be fixed. During my moment of freaking out, I was praying for direction. I need to know that I am making the right decision, and not f*ing up my life. After I was done praying, I read my daily devotional from Streams in the Desert and this is what it had to say.
By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. (Hebrews 11:8)
“Abraham ‘did not know where he was going’ – it simply was enough for him to know he went with God. He did not lean as much on the promises as he did the Promiser. And he did not look at eh difficulties of his circumstances but looked to His King – the eternal, limitless, invisible, wise, and only God – who reached down from His throne to direct his path and who would certainly prove Himself.
O glorious faith! Your works and possibilites are there: contentment to set sail with the orders still sealed, due to unwavering confidence int eh wisdom of the Lord High Admiral; and a willingness to get up, leave everything, and follow Christ, because of the joyful assurance that earth’s best does not compare with heaven’s least. -F.B. Meyer
In no way is it enough to set out cheerfully with God on any venture of faith. You must also be willing to take your ideas of what the hourney will be like and tear them into tiny pieves, for nothing on the itinerary will happen as you expect.
Your Guide will not keep to any beaten path. He will lead you through ways you would never have dreamed your eyes would see. he knows no fear, and he expects you to fear nothing while He is with you.”
I am so thankful that I serve a God who speaks and who is always present. This is a giant leap of faith and I am being called out to go to a land that I do not know and though it is incredibly exciting, it terrifies me. So let the journey begin and with unsteady legs…I take my first step.