As I have mentioned before I am not a flirt, if anything I am the opposite, I am a non flirt, a nirt if you will. Yes that’s right, I just made up an awesome new word. I become an incompetent nerd around men who are attractive. Give them a great personality on top of the hotness and I am screwed. I think a part of me thought that moving to another country might take away some of my 13 year old girl insecurity. Because now I am the foreigner…I am interesting if only for the sole reason that I am not from here. I lived in Los Angeles for the past nine years, that has to be interesting right. I have the accent now. Yet, that stupid 13 year old girl inside of me keeps rearing her ugly head. Truth, I am interesting, and not in a bragging because I am great way, but I have had a pretty interesting life. I am musician and I just left everything for adventure. Yet around cute men I become mute. Case in point my latest adventure into the city.
Here I am all excited to go exploring on my own in Sydney, I’m all by myself. I walk to the train station and am immediately overcome with confusion, concerned that I am getting on the wrong train. Right next to me is a very cute Australian boy…let me stress again…VERY CUTE! Here is my opportunity to be not me…after all I am starting over in a new country, be bold Kara, talk to him, ask for help. Do I do that…NOOOOOOO…of course not. That would be to cool. Instead He looks my way and I look down at the ground obviously very preoccupied with whatever is staring back at me. Smooth move Kara. Next instead of asking cute boy for directions, which will in turn lead to a conversation about where I am from, which will then lead to a date and the ultimate end of marital bliss, I call my friend who I am staying with to make sure I am about to board the right train. STUPID STUPID Me! Ahh…good bye Australian husband, we would have had a wonderful life together ;). So here I am in a new Country still being my awkward self and trying to convince myself that I am a beautiful confident women, any man would be lucky to be with me. Yay, same girl, still awkward. If only moving would rid me of my 13 year old self!
Oh how I have missed you blog! I’m all moved, to another country. That’s right I have left the comforts of the US all in the name of adventure and moved to Sydney Australia. Now that I am all moved I plan on reviving this thing as I have MUCH more free time than normal and the ability to blog. I don’t have a job, or friends, so for now lets take the time to focus on this blog. I have been writing a million posts in this noggin of mine and can’t wait to get it all out on “paper”. Ahh…It feels good to be back!
Moving your life halfway across the world causes a girl to reflect, and redefine things. It also causes a ton of self discovery. My current discovery is a doosey! I am the ex girlfriend that every boyfriend hates. Why…do you ask? Well it is really quite humorous. I have remained close to every mom of every boyfriend I have had. The men may have been douches, but they have wonderful moms who adore me and I them. I made this discovery as the first few people I talked to when I finally got over here was the mothers of my ex boyfriends. I laughed when I realized this. I don’t talk to them. There is no communication between me and the ex’s but I still go to coffee with the mom’s or now I skype with them. Ha! I refuse to give them up. I love them, they have been mom’s to me too. Especially when my own mother is far away and has never really understood me. To the Ex’s I’m sorry that your mom’s love me so much, but get used to it! 😉
So here I go yet again, on another flight. This time I am flying to Portland for….wait for it…yet another wedding! Seriously…shoot me in the face. I’m done. I’m done flying every two weeks, and I am done going to weddings. That’s right, you heard me, done! Thank God this is the last one for this season at least. Luckily we saved the best for last. My best friend Marie’s little sister is getting married, so it will be a really fun wedding. With lots of family and old friends. We did grow up together, so nothing will beat this wedding. Well, other than when Marie finally decides to settle down. With that said, let’s discuss flying.
Once upon a time, flying was considered fun, exciting, luxurious. Now let’s face it, we are nothing more than a heard of cattle to the airline companies. I’ll arrive to my flight an hour and a half early, have to PAY to check my stupid bag, on top of the already ridiculous price I paid for my ticket and then they don’t even feed me. I guess I should be grateful that they still have to give you a beverage. The seats are cramped and without fail I get stuck next to the largest person on the plane who feels the need to crowd my already little space with their fat rolls. Yes, flying is fun!
And I’m off…once again…this time to Seattle. Not only do I get to watch the best roommate ever, Kylie, get married, I also get to see my family and my best friend Marie! I can’t wait for a fun filled/crazy busy weekend. So off to yet another wedding I go, this time as a bridesmaid. Maybe there will actually be some cute guys at this one…who am I kidding…probably not! 😉
I’m sitting at the airport right now, waiting for my flight to leave for the beautiful city of Portland, Oregon. I am being summoned to Portland for yet another wedding. This one happens to be for a friend of mine that I have known since kindergarten. As I am preparing for an international move, it has made me focus on my friendships. I have a lot of friends, all from different walks of life. There are friends from elementary school, jr high, high school, college, old jobs, and friends I have made from the different churches I have been involved with over the years. Truth, most of the people that I am exceptionally close with I had no idea that we would remain friends despite time and distance. Many friendships fizzle because of distance, I am proud to say that many of mine have been strengthened because of it. I may not talk to or see them every week, but when we do get together, it is like no time at all has passed. There is such a comfort in that. I am preparing myself for the changes that is to come when I move. It saddens me to realize that some friendships will die, yet I am looking forward to the strengthening of others. Distance always proves who your real friends are. Those who I am able to keep in touch with while I am away, will become lifetime friends, and those are the best kind to have!
Lanie, I have know since kindergarten. I would say we became friends in second grade. Honestly, if we met today, I don’t think we would probably friends. We are about as different as they come, but there is something special about a friend who has grown up with you. Luckily, I am not a bridesmaid in this wedding! YAY! I am however a candle lighter and I am also singing as well, which means I still have to be at the rehearsal and I still have to be there early for pictures. This shall be an interesting wedding since many people who I went to high school with will be there. I have not seen any of these people in 10 years! This is wedding number one of three that I am in, in the next 6 weeks. So here’s to awkward conversation, great food, drinks, dancing, spending more money than I have, dresses that I will never wear again, and hopefully avoiding the condescending looks of those who think that being single is a disease…Bring on the weddings!
Denver, it was wonderful to get away from my life here in Los Angeles if even just for a few days. To see new sights and breath clean fresh mountain air was good for my soul. Denver not only brought a change of scenery, but also an opportunity to face my fears. I have vowed that 2011 will be the year that I finally stop living in fear and begin to live in faith, to just jump and see where I land. So that one day I can look back and no matter what the outcome at least I will know that I tried. I refuse to live a life of regrets. This time around, Denver, brought a chance to step out and play songs that I have written in front of a group of total strangers.
March 31st 2011, was the first time I have ever played at an open mic event. This one was held at a wine bar in the heart of Denver. Let’s just say…it didn’t go so well. vocals were excellent, songs received well, my guitar playing was shit! I loaned my beautiful Taylor to a friend when his broke. Since he needs a guitar for his job, it got used…A LOT. Me being the bright sophisticated woman that I am forgot to check the battery in my pickup before going on stage. Battery was dead and worse than that, I didn’t have any spare ones on me, so I had to play a strangers guitar. Not only was it larger than mine, but the action was much higher than I am used to. All of this equals a horrible playing experience. I got flustered when I was playing skipped a verse, added a verse, sang one to many chorus’s and so on and so forth. I must say though, that my musical training helped immensely cause i would mess up and be able to cover my steps flawlessly. Like I tell my students…”the only person who knows you hit one wrong note is you.” And it is true, these people have never heard my songs before, they don’t know how they sound, which means it is quite easy to cover your steps. When things go wrong I try and learn from them. This situation has taught me that even if I fail, and everything blows up in my face, I will be just fine. I will now be so much more prepared for the next one. Facing your fears is terrifying, but I am starting to learn that letting them run your life, is far worse.