Music Mondays: Lucy Schwartz


Check out Lucy Schwartz
Gone Away

I’ve been finding puzzle pieces of us
Kept in the dust
I’ve been hiding letters and photograph frames
To forget your name

We were never meant to be this damn broken
Words were never meant to be this half-spoken

Falling in the space between the universe
And all we see has gone away
Gone Away

I’ve been tracing my steps in fingerprint clues
And clips of the news
Wondering why in our lives the wind calls our name

And we’re never the same

We were never meant to be this damn broken
Words were never meant to be this half-spoken

Falling in the space between the universe
And all we see has gone away
Gone Away

Winding Circles take me back to
The place I knew when I was with you

Falling in the space between the universe
And all we see has gone away
Gone Away

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Happiness is…Old Friends


Today was a good day. An unexpected day. A day that makes me wish I wasn’t leaving in a month and a half. My favorite days are the ones that are super social and filled with friends. Today was one of those days. The best part. I heard from four of my favorite boys today. Three of them I met in college and one shortly after. They are my brothers from another mother. Just seeing there names makes me light up and puts a big smile on my face. I miss them. They all live far away now with their wives, all of which are pretty cool too. Funny thing, when you decide to uproot your life, you reflect A LOT! As I am currently about as single as they come, much of my reflection has to do with past relationships. The Epiphany of the day…No guy I have ever dated has made me light up like my friends.

These boys from my past, I would never date them, nor is it an option since they are all married, but even before, we never had the right chemistry. One of my goals for my big move is to not make the same mistakes I have made in my past. One of my big mistakes has been the type of guy I have dated. I date asses. I date men who make me uncomfortable. I have yet to date a man who makes me light up. I love how happy I feel when one of my boys sends me an email or txt. I feel the same way when I hear from my girls as well. So in this process of learning to live…I have decided: No more dating men who I have to jump through hoops for. No more dating men who make me feel like crap. The next guy I date is going to make me light up. Goodbye Anxiety…Hello Happiness! 🙂  t

 

I LOATH Sharing a Bathroom!


I am renting a room at the present moment for another month. The room situation is fine. The bathroom situation is getting on my last nerve. There is a young couple who rents the other room in this house. We have to share a bathroom. I’ve shared a bathroom before, in fact, up until I was 24, I had always shared a bathroom, and since then it has been on and off. This current situation is the worst though. Pretty much anytime I need to be in there, you know to shower, cause I have someplace that I have to be. They are in there! Best part, I have only met them once, and I am not one for knocking on the door and demanding my precious shower time. The inner me wants to bang loudly and scream let me in dammit! You are always freakin in there! Others need to use the bathroom too!!! However, instead I poke me head out of my room and if they are in there I silently curse to myself and close my door waiting for them to finally get the hell out of there. Oh the joys of sharing a bathroom!

Music Mondays: Keith Urban


Well, she was precious like a flower
She grew wild, wild but innocent
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different

Stupid boy, you can’t fence that in
Stupid boy, it’s like holding back the wind
she let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that’s what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can’t
Stupid boy, stupid boy
Oh

So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it push it around
I guess to build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down

she let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice and that’s what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can’t
You stupid boy

Oh, you always had to be right but now you’ve lost
The only thing that ever made you feel alive
Yeah, yeah

Well, she let her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
Yes, you did
She never even knew she had a choice and that’s what happens
When the only voice she hears is telling her she can’t
You stupid boy, oh, I’m the same old
Same old stupid boy

It took awhile for her to figure out she could run
But when she did, she was long gone
Long gone, long gone
Ah, she’s gone

Nobody’s ever gonna love me like she loved me
And she loved me, she loved me
God please, just let her know
I’m sorry, I’m sorry
I’m sorry, I’m sorry
Baby, yeah, I’m down on my knees
She’s never coming back to me

eHarmony, An Experiment


I have a friend who recently signed up for eHarmony. She fought for awhile, but finally decided that if she really wants to be dating, she better be proactive and take a step. It’s funny how this whole online dating thing is becoming the norm. Over half of my friends have met their spouses online. We live in a generation where people don’t know how to date, and when you never meet new people, that doesn’t help either. So Rachel decided to take the personality profile with no thoughts of actually signing up for the service. After she finished the test they started sending her matches, quite a few actually, and many of them requested communication. The trick of eHarmony, is that you can see their profiles without paying, but not their pictures. This will drive you just crazy enough that you suck it up and pay in order to make sure you are not missing out on anything good. In comes my experiment.

When Rachel told me that she really wanted to see all these men who had requested communication and had decided to sign up for their three month special, I got really excited! Yay for social experiments! She had ten men who had requested communication with her. Before she paid I sat down with her and had her read all ten of their profiles and comment on who caught her attention and who did not, based solely on their info. It felt like Christmas morning, here she had ten shiny packages under the tree, but the question is…is it jewelry, or sock and underwear? Viewing their profiles before looking at their pictures was like shaking the presents to see if you can figure out which ones you think will be the best.

Out of the ten, three were immediately ruled out based on their horrid profiles. One guy was 5’2 – too short! Another wrote like a complete ass and bored both of us before we even got through his first paragraph. And lastly, another looked to be unemployed and lazy…NO THANK YOU! Those three were put into socks and underwear present pile. five were deemed possibilities, nothing stood out, but nothing made her uneasy either these seemed like they might be good presents. Two however, really stood out. They were the presents on Christmas morning that you wanted to open first, the ones who looked like they might be just what you asked for.

Now came the exciting part, paying…this means she finally gets to open her presents and see how many pairs of socks and underwear she got vs. the new ipad, or pretty jewelry. So the three that she labeled socks and underwear…she was right on. Weird, weird guys! Their profiles matched their rather interesting pictures. Of the five who may or may not have been underwear two were ok, the other three…yay…they broke all the profile rules when it comes to pictures. Pictures with girls, with babies, with your shirt off…epic fail! The other two she decided to give a chance, honestly, she wasn’t really attracted to them, but decided to give it a try anyway. The ones she was really excited about it….well…it is eHarmony. One of them looked like he was in his 50s and the other, not really her type either, but she is giving him a chance because he impressed her so much.

Here is the problem with online dating. We as people want to be with someone we are attracted to both physically and mentally. Unfortunately, being able to judge someone based on a picture is hard. We are bombarded everyday with images of perfect people and when the men or women on these sites don’t fit that, are tendency is to “close” them because they are not what we are looking for. It’s pretty much shopping for a mate. Yes, you do the same thing in real life, we judge the package, but at the same time you get to know whats inside and sometimes that changes the way the packages appears. Online dating sites let you judge the package before ever getting to know whats inside. I’m interested to see what happens in her new adventure. My prediction, it’s not going to be the pretty guy she is looking for who is going to grab her attention. It’s going to be the boy next door, who she wants to close, but will give him a chance, because she has me looking over her shoulder ;). At first glance he is not going to be what she thought she wanted, but he will turn out to be all that and more. Can’t wait to see how this story ends!

The Things You Hear at Wedding


I have been working a lot of weddings lately. I somehow fell into this side business without looking for it. Most of the weddings that I work are very high end, beautiful affairs. On most weddings I am the lead to the planner. Its fun, but the best part is getting to observe the guests. I am fascinated by human behavior and interaction. Because I am there to make sure that everything goes smoothly, you learn how to be pretty much invisible. When you are working a wedding, the guests really don’t notice you. Especially when most of the guests come from pretty elaborate backgrounds. This last weekends wedding was no different. What struck me the most was the conversations that were being had.

For the bride it was her first wedding, at 40. The groom had been married before and had children. What I find so interesting as a single girl is the amount of cynicism towards marriage at almost every wedding I work. What is even more interesting, is that it is not coming from the  single people. The cynicism is most commonly from the married ones. One woman there was just going through a divorce and I overheard her telling another that it’s better to just be single, marriage isn’t worth it. Later in the evening, I was working and happened to hear a table discussing how hard marriage is. One of the people at the table had been married for 25 years. She said, marriage is work, no one tells you that before your married. Another man at the same table was talking about the end of his marriage. How he had no idea that work would be required to maintain a successful marriage.

I have spent most of my life being what you would call a “late bloomer”. I was the last to go through puberty, the last to hit her growth spurt, and now I am the last among my friends to get married and have kids. I’ve always hated being last, but now, its is turning out to be a good thing. I know marriage is hard work. I’ve watched as marriages have succeeded and failed. The success come from hard work and good communications, from continual pursuit of your spouse. The failures, well…it takes two to fail and being selfish will always end your marriage. People are innately selfish, it’s hard work to deny yourself and put someone else’s feelings before your own.

After working many weddings this summer, sometimes I’m not sure if I want to get married. I want a family, but not if it is going to fail. I refuse to be a statistic, and if I finally do get married, I hope being a late bloomer pays off and I’ll remember that to be  a success, you have to work.

Music Mondays: Joseph Arthur


In The Sun – Joseph Arthur

I pictured you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

May God’s love be with you
Always….
May God’s love be with you

I know i would apologize if i could see your eyes
‘Cause when you showed me myself, you know, i became someone else
But i was caught in between all you wish for and all you need
I pictured you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You can’t keep awake

May God’s love be with you
Always…
May God’s love be with you
Always…
May God’s love be with you
Always…
May God’s love be with you

‘Cause if i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
If i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
If i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
You…
You…
I’ll find you
You…

I don’t know anymore
What it’s for
I’m not even sure
If there is anyone who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
‘Cause i been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe you’re not even sure what it’s for
Any more than me

May God’s love be with you
Always…
May God’s love be with you
Always…
May God’s love be with you
Always…
May God’s love be with you

‘Cause if i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
If i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
If i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
If i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
You…
You…
I’ll find you
You…
I’ll find you
You…
I’ll find you
You…