See this attractive man, sporting a stunning outfit of cutoff shorts and a tank top. Well, lets just say he is better dressed and more attractive then the men that I met tonight. As part of my redesign my life plan…aka things need to change or I move to Australia…I have decided to venture outside of my comfort zone. Tonight was one of those failed attempts.
Rachel and I have recently started going to a new church. Here in lies the problem. We would really like to meet people, men and women, who are in the same life stage as us. As in late 20s to early 30s career minded, married, single, kids, no kids, does not matter to me. Just same life stage. That seems like an easy request right? WRONG! You see the church does not know how to create programs for people in their late 20s to early 30s. Instead, they label these groups the dreaded singles groups. Guess what, don’t like the label and I as sure as hell don’t want to be seen in one of these groups. The Singles label makes you seem desperate and pathetic no one in their right mind who is a fully capable, semi attractive, or a slightly intelligent human being wants to be labeled as such. “Single” has come to imply desperate and unattractive with little to no personality, in the church world. In enters tonight’s monstrosity.
Due to the fact that Rachel and I don’t know anyone our age, we decide reluctantly, to check out the dreaded 20s-30s group. Which unfortunately carries the label “singles group”. Neither one of us is to thrilled by this prospect, but we go anyway. Why not right? It might end up being an awesome group of people. Wrong again. I once again learned that my gut is always right. ALWAYS! Damn it for being so spot on. Rachel and I show up on time and go and sit at a table with two other girls who have never been here before either. As I scan the room I see many people who fit the “singles” category. The men, fat, old, and horribly unattractive. I believe some were even wearing sweat pants for I am sure that jeans would have been a little to binding for them. The women, looked as though many of them had stepped out of 1985. No makeup sweats and 80s hairstyles. Like I said before, I am bitch and there were just so many jokes running through my head as I looked around the room. Poor Rachel couldn’t even make eye contact with me as we would start laughing at how uncomfortable we were. Rachel mind you is beautiful, has great hair, and is a good dresser. Needless to say she stuck out like a midget playing for an NBA team. It was as if Christian Mingle had come to life. The one male who happened to join are table looked as though he was in his mid 40s and as creepy as they come. Within the first few minutes he was talking about his high profile clients and how much money he deals with. Guess what creeper, no one cares. Most awkward part of the evening was when two other girls, who were regular attenders asked us if we would be returning next week. Rachel replied, well…maybe. Which translates into Hell No! The only good thing to come out of this horribly weird experience is that we were right. Anything labeled singles will bring out the weirdo’s oh and now we have some great stories to tell and memories to laugh at.
Seriously, where are all the normal ones?