I love Psychology! At one point I went back to school and took a bunch of classes in order to go back and get my masters in marriage and family therapy. I love psychology because I love people. I like to know what makes people tick. If you meet me, most likely I will drill you with questions. I drill because I want to understand who you are, and why you think and feel the way you do. I have always been a girl with an unusual amount of curiosity. If curiosity really did kill the cat, then that one day, will be my downfall. I love psychology, not only because I want to understand others better, but because I want to understand myself as well. I like things to make sense. That is probably one of the reasons that I picked music as my career, it is creative, yet it makes sense. I bring this up to give you, my many readers, a little bit of incite into who I am.
My favorite of all personality test is the Enneagram. The first time I took it and read my results, I felt like I was looking into a mirror. It was all there, the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. I encourage you to take one of their tests and see where you fit in. I have taken this test multiple times and every time I get the same result. For better, for worse, I am a type 2. There is good and bad to every type, just like there is good and bad to every person.
“Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.” (Taken from the link above)
- Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved
- Basic Desire: To feel love
I’m writing about this because I have been really sick this past week, like lock myself in my room sick. I have been unsocial and my basic desire, to feel love, has come up short. It’s no one’s fault but my own, that I feel all alone. The truth is, I haven’t really wanted anyone around. I’m sick, but it is a catch 22. While I want to be left alone in all my snotty glory, I also want someone to say, sorry Kara, I’m coming over and taking care of you. People have tried, but I turn them down. Like I said, its a catch 22. While being so sick and holed up in my room it has given me time to slow down and reflect.
I think God wanted me to slow down, and He knew i wouldn’t if I didn’t get sick. I like to keep myself really busy with constant friends and activities. I’m a two, I need to be needed. So I fill my days with activities where I can be there for others. I LOVE being there for my friends, it’s hard really hard for me to be weak and vulnerable and let them be there for me. Like I mentioned in my post How to Get a Date Worth Keeping I like to play the role of savior, and this has not been working. Maybe I needed to get sick, and miss out on all the fun, so that I can see how little I let others take care of me. It’s not like they don’t offer, I just don’t let them. Maybe part of getting out of my rut is finally letting others be there for me too. Or maybe, just maybe I’ll move to Australia 😉